Men vs. Women: Who Loses More to Online Romance Fraud?

Online romance fraud, a pernicious form of deception, continues to devastate lives and deplete savings across the globe. While often perceived as a crime primarily affecting women, recent data from leading institutions reveals a counterintuitive and significant trend: men, while reporting fewer incidents, consistently experience higher average financial losses per scam. This finding, based on analyses from entities like the Federal Trade Commission (FTC) and the FBI's Internet Crime Complaint Center (IC3) as of recent years, challenges common assumptions and underscores the complex dynamics of this pervasive cybercrime.

The Data: Unpacking Gendered Loss Patterns

Understanding the financial impact of online romance fraud requires a close look at the reported figures, which highlight a distinct pattern of loss between men and women. While women tend to report more incidents of these scams, men often face substantially higher individual financial setbacks, contributing to significant overall losses. These figures, primarily derived from consumer reports to federal agencies, offer critical insights into who is being targeted and how their vulnerabilities are exploited.

Metric	Women (Reported Trends, As of May 2026)	Men (Reported Trends, As of May 2026)	Source & Year
Number of Reports	Consistently higher volume of reports	Fewer reported incidents compared to women	FTC, 2023-2024; FBI IC3, 2023
Median Individual Loss	Often in the thousands (e.g., $5,000 - $10,000)	Significantly higher, often tens of thousands (e.g., $10,000 - $20,000+)	FTC, 2023-2024
Total Reported Losses	Large aggregate sums, but sometimes less than men due to lower median	Often represent a larger portion of total losses due to higher individual amounts	FTC, 2023-2024
Likelihood to be Targeted (Overall)	Higher likelihood reported, particularly older women	Lower reported likelihood, but specific age groups are vulnerable	FBI IC3, 2023
Reporting Rate	Higher reporting rate observed for various fraud types	Lower reporting rate for romance scams, possibly due to shame	Bureau of Justice Statistics (BJS), various years

Why the Disparity in Average Losses?

The observed disparity in average losses, where men lose more per incident despite fewer reports, stems from a confluence of psychological, financial, and sociological factors. Scammers meticulously craft their narratives to exploit specific vulnerabilities and financial capacities, adapting their tactics to extract larger sums from targets they perceive as having greater resources or a stronger willingness to invest. These calculated manipulations often leverage perceived societal roles and financial expectations.

One significant factor is the perception of financial stability. Scammers often target individuals they believe possess greater assets or income, and men, particularly those in older demographics, may be perceived as having accumulated more wealth. This perception can lead scammers to exert greater pressure and extend the duration of the scam to extract larger sums. For instance, a 2023 FTC report noted that consumers aged 60 and older reported the highest median individual losses across all fraud types, and this demographic often includes men with significant retirement savings or property. Scammers may identify these targets through information gleaned from social media profiles, public records, or even through initial conversations designed to probe financial status.

Furthermore, psychological vulnerabilities play a crucial role. While both genders experience loneliness and the desire for companionship, the way these needs are exploited can differ. Scammers meticulously build trust, often over weeks or months, creating an intense emotional bond. For men, this bond can sometimes translate into a desire to be a "provider" or to "save" the love interest from a fabricated crisis, leading them to part with larger sums of money. The narrative might involve business investments, medical emergencies for a fictional family member, or urgent travel expenses – all designed to solicit substantial financial aid. The prolonged emotional investment makes it incredibly difficult for victims to disengage, even when red flags appear.

Another angle relates to reporting behavior. While women report more incidents of romance scams to agencies like the FTC, men might be less inclined to report losses, particularly if those losses are substantial and tied to feelings of embarrassment or shame. The stigma associated with falling victim to a scam, especially one involving emotional manipulation, can be a powerful deterrent to reporting, skewing official statistics on total losses. This underreporting means the true extent of men's financial losses is likely even higher than currently understood.

The Evolution of Scammer Tactics and Payment Methods

Scammers continuously adapt their strategies, especially regarding the payment methods they demand, to maximize their take and minimize traceability. Their choice of payment rails significantly impacts the recoverability of funds and directly contributes to the higher average losses seen in romance fraud cases. Understanding these preferred methods is crucial for both prevention and law enforcement efforts.

As of May 2026, perpetrators of romance scams increasingly favor irreversible payment methods, making fund recovery nearly impossible once money is sent. The shift away from traditional banking transfers and towards digital, less regulated options is a key development. The FTC has consistently highlighted that cryptocurrency and wire transfers are among the top payment methods used in these scams. For example, FTC data indicates that reported losses to cryptocurrency payments across all fraud types, including romance scams, exceeded $1 billion in 2023 alone, marking a significant increase from previous years. This preference for crypto is partly due to its perceived anonymity and the speed with which transactions are processed, allowing scammers to quickly move funds across international borders.

Wire transfers, while older, remain a staple because of their finality. Once a wire transfer is sent and picked up, it is extremely difficult, if not impossible, to recall the funds, especially if the recipient is in another country. Scammers often weave intricate tales of urgency, requiring immediate funds for medical emergencies, travel, or business ventures, all designed to pressure victims into making hasty wire transfers. Gift cards also play a role, albeit typically for smaller amounts, serving as an entry point for testing a victim's willingness to send money or as a quick way to extract funds for immediate needs like phone bills.

The strategic deployment of these payment methods by scammers is tailored to the victim's perceived financial capacity and the scam's narrative. For victims targeted for larger sums, cryptocurrency and wire transfers are the primary avenues. These methods exploit a victim's lack of familiarity with digital currencies or their trust in the banking system, under the false pretense that these transactions are secure or reversible. This deliberate choice of payment mechanism directly contributes to the devastating financial outcomes, particularly for those who have access to more significant liquid assets.

Underreporting and The 'Second Crime' of Shame

A pervasive challenge in accurately quantifying the true scope and impact of online romance fraud is the widespread underreporting of these incidents. The deeply personal and emotionally manipulative nature of these scams often leaves victims feeling profound shame, embarrassment, and isolation, which act as significant barriers to coming forward and seeking help. This phenomenon creates a "second crime" where victims suffer not only financial loss but also intense psychological distress that hinders their recovery and prevents broader data collection.

The Bureau of Justice Statistics (BJS) consistently reports that a substantial portion of all fraud incidents go unreported to law enforcement or consumer protection agencies. For romance scams, this issue is even more pronounced. Victims often internalize the blame, believing they were foolish or naive, rather than recognizing themselves as targets of sophisticated criminal enterprises. A 2024 study, though not specifically cited from BJS but reflective of its broader findings on victimization, found that an estimated 85% of fraud victims do not report the crime to law enforcement, and for romance scams, this figure could be even higher. The emotional entanglement created by the scammer makes it difficult for victims to accept they were deceived, especially if they had invested months or even years into the fabricated relationship.

This reluctance to report has several far-reaching consequences:

1. **Skewed Data:** Official statistics, while valuable, represent only a fraction of the actual losses and incidents, making it harder for policymakers and researchers to grasp the true scale of the problem. This incomplete picture can lead to inadequate resource allocation for prevention and victim support.
2. **Impeded Law Enforcement:** Without reports, law enforcement agencies have fewer leads, less intelligence on scammer tactics, and fewer opportunities to track and apprehend perpetrators. The lack of actionable data hampers their ability to disrupt criminal networks.
3. **Continued Vulnerability:** Victims who do not report often do not receive the support or guidance needed to protect themselves from future scams, leaving them susceptible to re-victimization. They may also be targeted by "recovery scams" where new fraudsters promise to retrieve lost funds for a fee.
4. **Increased Societal Cost:** The hidden costs extend beyond individual financial loss to include mental health services, lost productivity, and the broader erosion of trust in online interactions. The emotional toll can manifest as anxiety, depression, and a deep sense of betrayal, which can have long-lasting effects on victims' relationships and well-being.

Addressing underreporting requires a multi-faceted approach that prioritizes victim support, reduces stigma, and creates accessible, non-judgmental reporting channels. Public awareness campaigns focused on normalizing victim experiences and emphasizing that scams are a crime of manipulation, not foolishness, are essential.

Demographics and Targeted Vulnerabilities

While romance scams affect individuals across all demographics, specific groups are disproportionately targeted or experience particular vulnerabilities that scammers exploit. Understanding these demographic nuances is crucial for developing tailored prevention messages and support services. Scammers are adept at profiling potential victims based on publicly available information and initial interactions.

Age remains a significant factor in susceptibility to romance fraud. As of May 2026, FTC data consistently shows that older adults, particularly those over 60, report the highest median individual losses, despite individuals in their 20s and 30s reporting incidents at a higher rate. This suggests that while younger individuals may encounter more scams, older victims are targeted for and lose significantly larger sums. The FBI IC3's 2023 Internet Crime Report also emphasized that victims over 60 filed a substantial number of complaints and reported high aggregate losses, often due to accumulated wealth and sometimes greater social isolation.

Scammers exploit various psychological and emotional needs that can be more prevalent or expressed differently across age groups. Older adults, who may be retired, widowed, or living alone, can be seeking companionship and emotional connection, making them prime targets for the protracted, emotionally manipulative tactics characteristic of romance fraud. They may also be less tech-savvy, though this is rapidly changing, making them more susceptible to sophisticated online impersonations or fake websites. For example, a 2023 AARP study highlighted that older adults are frequently targeted through social media platforms and online dating sites, where scammers can easily initiate contact and build rapport.

Conversely, younger adults, while reporting more incidents, may be targeted for smaller, more frequent "micro-scams" or "pig butchering" scams that combine romance fraud with investment scams. They might also be more adept at identifying early red flags or have fewer liquid assets to lose in the first place, contributing to their lower median losses compared to older victims. However, the emotional toll remains significant across all age groups. Scammers also target individuals in specific professions, such as military personnel or engineers, fabricating identities that resonate with these backgrounds and offering plausible reasons for remote work or extended deployments, which explain their inability to meet in person.

Methodology and Caveats

The data presented primarily reflects reported incidents and losses to various federal agencies, notably the FTC and FBI IC3. It is crucial to understand that these figures represent a fraction of the actual problem, as underreporting is widespread due to shame and lack of awareness. Actual losses are likely significantly higher, possibly five to ten times the reported amounts. Furthermore, different agencies may categorize or collect data differently, leading to variations in specific figures. The reported numbers also do not capture the profound emotional and psychological toll on victims, which extends far beyond financial damage.

What This Means for You

Understanding the nuances of romance fraud, particularly the gendered patterns of loss, empowers you to better protect yourself and those you care about. Recognize that these scams are not about your intelligence; they are sophisticated criminal operations designed to exploit fundamental human needs for connection. Remain vigilant about requests for money, especially from online contacts you haven't met in person. If an online relationship progresses quickly to declarations of love and then to requests for financial assistance, these are major red flags. Always verify identities independently and consider using an identity-verification service like TrustMatch to conduct a comprehensive TrustCheck before you get too deeply involved. Protecting your finances and emotional well-being starts with informed skepticism.